The snoozefest at WWDC

by Don Reisinger

June 12, 2008 —

For almost two hours this past Monday, Apple CEO Steve Jobs and his loyal gang of minions captivated thousands across the globe looking to catch a glimpse at what Apple had up its sleeve.

Would it be a new 3G iPhone? Would it be new Macs? How about a new iPod? Would Steve start to walk off stage only to come back and remind us that there's "one more thing"? Would the Apple zealots rise in unison as Steve sets Apple's sights on the future?

Would it be as wonderful as some of the reports led us to believe?

Uh, nope.

During the entire keynote presentation, I was left wondering why I didn't decide to do something else instead of listening to the most boring WWDC speech I've heard, well, ever. Just after the Associated Press took the stage to tell us about its latest and greatest iPhone app, I considered the value of taking a sharp stick and thrusting it into my eye. When Major League Baseball was done, I was asking for some guidance on how to tie the stem of a cherry into a knot in my mouth.

And then, in a moment of pure triumph, the torture stopped, Steve took the stage, and I was back into the game. Would he finally show us that new 3G iPhone? What would it have loaded inside?

The tension was building and my heart started to race. I kept telling myself that Steve would have never made us go through the hell of listening to boring people talk about boring topics without giving us something huge to remember the presentation by.

I was ready.

And then, in one fell swoop, Steve announced the new iPhone that offered 3G, a slightly altered design, and GPS. I anxiously waited for something, anything, else. But it never came.

Was this really what I waited for? A discussion on crappy software packages and a 3G iPhone that was easily the worst kept secret in the world? I could have predicted that update standing on my head spitting nickels out of my mouth while reciting lines from My Fair Lady.

Thanks for nothing, Steve.

But I digress. What really happened at WWDC? Maybe it's the spoiled brat inside me, but I was always under the impression that Steve Jobs' keynotes would get better with time and he always had something big up his sleeve.

I guess I was wrong.

But maybe this is where Apple is going. Instead of making big announcements every few months to build hype for a product, the company will slowly but surely update its product line and see the iPod, iPhone, and Macs evolve.

Who can blame Apple? The pressure to make big announcements every few months is practically impossible to withstand and although the company sometimes makes it look easy, it's definitely not.

In the end, I can somehow bring myself to understand why Apple made me want to throw darts at my head out of sheer boredom, but I don't like it. Instead of wasting our time on the next go-round, hopefully Apple will finally take a step back and realize that talking for the sake of it isn't doing anyone any good.

ITworld.com